Dinner and a Movie
The latest suite of cinematic releases, and the most appropriate Melbourne places to eat beforehand.
Longtime readers will know I am a cinema obsessee, and have a deep and abiding interest in the inner workings of the entertainment industry. How directors and stars plot their careers is of endless fascination to me, and I try as best I can to stay abreast of all of the latest releases.
And as we all know, the only thing better than seeing a great film is having a great meal beforehand, or even better, afterwards, where you can unpack all the goings on over something delicious. So, why not make a night of it? Deactivate that streaming service, delete that delivery app, throw those trackie pants in the wash, and let’s head out for a night on the town. This week I’m breaking down some of the best (and worst) recent releases, and the Melbourne venues I feel best suit the experience for a meal.
“Perfect Days”: Kenzan
There are nights, perched at the sushi bar at Kenzan, a frosted glasses of Suntory Premium Malts in hand, the harmonic clink of sake cups in your ear, the warm cushioned buzz of a comfortable, content dining room in your heart, where Kenzan sits comfortably among Melbourne’s best restaurants. It’s as far away from modern as a restaurant can be; at 43 years and counting in Collins Place, they’re long past that. A long dormant Instagram, likely abandoned because it was a distraction rather than the necessity that some restaurants see it as, is your first clue. Until recently, there wasn't even a way to book online, instead you had to send an email or call, a far more civilised process. Currently closed for renovation, I can’t wait to see what new touches are made to this very special place. I just hope they don’t lose the magic.
The magic is very must still alive in “Perfect Days”, from legendary German director Wim Wenders. Very nearly a perfect film, “Perfect Days” is about the simple pleasures of a peaceful, gentle life, something we should all aspire too. Watching this whimsical film softly unfurl in front of me gave me the same warmth and contentment that a meal at Kenzan does.
“Challengers”: Ichigo
In Luca Guadagnino’s unhinged and incredibly horny sports drama, a complex web of desire, jealousy and frustration is woven over the backdrop of the erstwhile restrained sport of tennis. It’s a raucous, chaotic, party of a film, best consumed on the big screen with a packed out house. However, edible parables don’t immediately present themselves, although phallic references abound in the form of unsubtle hot dog and churros scenes.
The best I can do is a localised take on the iconic Wimbledon snack of strawberries and cream. At Franklin Street’s Japanese-inspired brunch spot Ichigo, a signature cake of strawberries, chantilly and airy sponge brings to mind sunny English days eating strawberries and cream on Henman Hill, the perfect treat for a post-Challengers D&M with your lover, or in keeping with the film, lovers.
“Late Night With The Devil”: Jinda Thai
There remains no more medicinal, purifying act than the soul-shaking heat of raw bird's eye chilli, enough to bring any deep-seated apparitions out of your body in a sweaty, hallucinogenic exorcism of flavour. Now comfortably arriving at institution status, Richmond’s Jinda Thai has become one of Melbourne’s true independent restaurant success stories. And while you can still get some chicken satay or a massaman curry, the deeper pleasures are revealed by straying further into the darkness, and opening yourself up to a little pain.
Ripped from the twisted minds of Australian filmmakers Colin and Cameron Cairnes, “Late Night with the Devil” tells the tale of a desperate late night talk show host, and an exorcism gone wrong. The convulsing, pained spasms of a young girl as the devil inside her is beckoned forth reminded me of the time I accidentally ate two full bird’s eye chilli garnishes on a Jinda larb, and spent the next 15 minutes undergoing my own satanic transformation. Proceed with caution.
“Civil War”: Brunetti (On a Weekend)
No venue better reflects the harrowing chaos of Alex Garland’s warzone thriller than Brunetti Flinders Lane at peak hour, now technically known as Brunetti Oro after a family dispute. Just as Kirsten Dunst leads her team of journalists through a hailstorm of bullets in search of a story, you too can wade through a morass of confused, hungry tourists in search of a panini, dodging flying pizza crusts thrown from highchairs, and weaving in between pools of spilled cappuccino. And just like “Civil War”, the true meaning of Brunetti is in the eye of the beholder; is it a valuable Melbourne icon, or some sort of perverse societal experiment designed to make as much money as possible?
“Jeanne Du Barry”: Bar Magnolia
Like fellow cancelled fallen angels of Hollywood Woody Allen and Roman Polanski, Johnny Depp now plies his trade in his adopted home of France, where being cancelled by Americans is worn as a badge of honour. A classical French tale of intrigue set in Versailles, it stars (and is directed by) Maïwenn, who is basically the French Bradley Cooper, a star actor who has pivoted to directing, and starring in, their own films.
Depp’s presence in the film seems a deliberate and cynical attempt to court controversy, but despite his numerous public transgressions and almost unprecedented run of cinematic flops, there is still a commanding screen presence to be observed. With a night of French revelry before you, why not drop into Sydney Road’s achingly chic Bar Magnolia for natural wines, creative charcuterie, and one of the city’s best fromage services?
“Back To Black”: Vapiano
This deeply offensive biopic, starring “Industry” standout Marisa Abela and directed by “Fifty Shades of Grey” auteur Sam Taylor-Johnson, is a sad attempt to subvert history. Amy Winehouse was a tragic miracle, a talent seemingly delivered from heaven, who could never escape her personal hell. To apply a sappy Hollywood lens to her story, and attempt to rewrite history to suit a greedy estate’s narrative, is truly shameful. For the definitive take on Winehouse’s life, see Asif Kapadia’s 2015 documentary “Amy”.
A night spent seeing Back To Black seems like a night wasted, when there are so many genuine, well-made films out at the moment. Similarly, whenever I walk past Vapiano, the vapid, devoid of quality fake Italian franchise restaurant owned by a German conglomerate and devised to separate tourists from their money, I feel a great sorrow. To waste a Melbourne meal eating microwaved prison food seems like a tragedy unto itself. So, for that reason, a meal at Vapiano is the perfect entree to Back To Black.
“The Fall Guy”: Clifton Hill McDonalds
While I am an unabashed fan of Ryan Gosling, and believe he is currently the preeminent leading man in Hollywood, he is far from the finished product. Gosling is a reliable and charming comedic presence capable of deeply moving dramatic turns, but when left to his own devices, tends towards sugary dross like “The Fall Guy”. Directed by David Leitch, who consistently produces terrible, erratic whirlwind distractions of films, The Fall Guy is an immensely stupid movie. Depending on the mood, there can be a place for this sort of sugary, fatty, devoid of nutritional value entertainment, and in keeping with that, why not visit the world’s most beautiful McDonalds beforehand?
Located in the former United Kingdom Hotel and designed by architect James Hastie Wardrop, Clifton Hill Maccas can lay claim to being one of the world’s few genuine art deco fast food restaurants. Its elegant curved brick facade belies the cheap and nasty contents within, not unlike Leitch’s flashy, trashy films. I’m not opposed to the occasional Maccas run, and the virtues of a steamed bun Quarter Pounder or McSpicy (add cheese and tomato) can be comparable to what you’ll receive in much more expensive burger joints. Just don’t expect to feel great afterwards, and don’t expect to dwell too long on the meaning of “The Fall Guy”; there isn’t one.
Brunettis and Civil War is a great pairing