Selected, Vol. I

Various and sundry niceties with food & drink adjacency

Trout tartine @ Masses Bagels, Fitzroy

Hello Bureaucrats.

I do often feel burdensome. One of the express goals of this newsletter is to circumvent the content churn, and provide more longform analysis and dissection on all matters imbibable. Candidly, it’s not easy; whether it’s my own high standards or the fatal flaw of loquaciousness, my writing is often very intense. Long, detailed, occasionally emotionally weighty. It’s also very time consuming. I had some plans for this week’s pieces, another travelogue and a fairly intense piece of investigative journalism I’ve been quietly working on for months, but I’m taking the path of least resistance today. Today is about ease of digestion.

I’m calling this first in an ongoing series Selected. It will be a list of sorts, highlighting some things that have recently caught my eye and tickled my fancy, with a mostly food & bev lens. Please enjoy.

Selected Dining

Masses Bagels

Having recently relocated to East Melbourne, I find myself completely overwhelmed with dining options. This does not at all assist with my financial and health goals, but certain concessions must be made, and this joint is about 200 metres from my front door. I will not spend too long on Masses, arguably the most hyped and popular venue in Melbourne, but obviously it is excellent. Their malted rye bagels are a thing of beauty, and I regularly purchase them loose to eat at home with fresh avocado, smoked trout, and when it’s actually available after the great it’s actually burrata revelation, cottage cheese. A few other things I like about this place is that the coffee is uncommonly good, owing to the owners’ longtime association with Market Lane. This morning, over a smoked trout tartine, I started trying to count the ingredients on the plate in front of me, and how much work and different preparations went into such a seemingly simple dish. Rare is a venue worthy of the hype, and Masses is certainly that.

Albert Park Hotel

The leafy seclusion of Albert Park is not exactly at the epicentre of the dining zeitgeist; a sort of gated community, people rarely travel there to dine, and the people that live there rarely leave. And, honestly, why would you, provided you’re not too attached to the arts or multiculturalism, it’s a pretty nice suburb. What I will say is that the Albert Park Hotel and its in-house restaurant Happy Valley defy all skepticism. I dined there recently for a family birthday, having not been for a few years. Chinese restaurants in pubs seem so obvious, and indeed it’s something Andrew McConnell once toyed with, but the Pavlovian need of the average Australian to eat breaded chicken breast whilst drinking beer means we rarely get variation in pub cuisines. The food here is truly excellent, perfectly steamed barramundi and best-in-class special fried rice the standouts. It’s a wide and interesting menu, expensive but worth it, in a fabulous fit out; part greenhouse, part Raffles, part Art Deco. Love it.

Selected Drinking

Project Zero

Followers of my Instagram will have seen my coverage of the new Project Zero coffee bar on Flinders Street. Project Zero is a very eccentric and creative roastery, known for their unique fermentation, resulting in espressos that taste like strawberries and cream or apple pie. This creativity has gone to a new level at the Flinders Street venue, where pre-pulled espressos come directly from an aerated tap. My immediate reaction was one of revulsion, and after trying it, I still remain unconvinced about its merits. Still, there’s no point being close minded about innovation in such a challenging industry, so I’d recommend everyone give it a try and make up their own minds.

2023 Rennersistas ‘Intergalactic’ Welschriesling

It’s been a relatively light festive period for me on the bevs, and in general, I’m endeavoring to drink a little less. I of course will make exceptions for something new and interesting, and recently found myself enraptured in a glass of this skinsy Austrian Welschriesling. Tropical, spicy and layered. A very agreeable summer arvo tipple, I sipped it at Boire over some excellent taro croquettes.

Selected Reading

Mince

Fellow Substacker and one of Melbourne’s leading food journos Quincy Malesovas has launched Mince magazine, an independent food zine spotlighting innovative ideas in food and hospitality. As a former zine peddler myself, I have proximity to how much work goes into something like this, especially one so thoughtful and packed with great photography. Grab one here;

https://www.mincemag.com/

Veraison

For more thoughtful writing with a decidedly oenophilic view, give Veraison a spin. The former print zine recently pivoted to an online model, with the same great content. You can subscribe here:

https://www.veraisonmag.com/

Selected Cooking

As a devoted home cook, I’m always looking for reliable, affordable dishes that I can have on hand to ensure I’m not overspending or eating junk. A few recent revelations that have made life a lot easier:

Ramen Tamago

I’ve taken to softboiling a few eggs at a time, and keeping them immersed in this simple soy brine in the fridge. Water, a dash of soy, some vinegar and a pinch of sugar is all you need, and you’ll be amazed at how much flavour is imparted. Crack these bad boys over some avo on toast, a salad, or simple noodle soup for an instant flavour and protein hit.

Coles I’m Perfect Spinach

I love spinach; I love it fresh on sandwiches and salads, I love it wilted with eggs, I love it tossed through pasta or stirred through soups. I even love frozen spinach, which remains one of the most affordable and healthy freezer hacks for home cooks. However, the major supermarkets usually package fresh spinach up in small bags, and as someone who tries to avoid plastic and doesn’t like paying $6 for a 200g of greens, which mostly evaporates the moment it is heated, it means I’ll often bypass spinach for something else. So shout out to Coles for these bulk “second harvest” spinach packs, a humungous 400g bag for $4, utilising less aesthetically appealing leaves. I’ve been getting through a bag a week.

Selected Listening

Stadio

I’m a sports fanatic, and recognize that the venn diagram of those that share that fanaticism who also subscribe to niche hospitality industry Substacks is relatively small. Still, you never know, and as it’s a World Cup year, football fever is about to engulf the world. As the tournament will be hosted partly in the USA, a country which perhaps you may have heard, is going through some things, football will find itself at the cross section of sports, commerce and politics in an unavoidable way. For a deeper discussion about the beautiful game, I turn to Stadio, the long running podcast which recently pivoted to a Patreon model. Co-host Musa Okongwa is a thought leader and published poet who speaks with passion and wisdom about the game, and isn’t afraid to delve into deeper matters. The other co-host Ryan Hunn is candidly a bit of a wanker (Arsenal supporter) and his accent drives me mad, but the convergence of the two makes for great discussions.

Broomgate

It’s also Winter Olympics time, truly a gift for lovers of niche sports. As a bonus, the event is being hosted in the Italian Alps, about as dreamy and idyllic a location as someone looking for some prime time escapism could hope for. One of the key curiosities of the Winter Olympics is the beguiling and befuddling chess/skating/housework hybrid that is curling, and for true crime podcast fans who also love weird sports, boy do I have the miniseries for you. Hosted by comedian and curler Josh Cullen, Broomgate is a hilarious and intriguing journey into the strange (and apparently corrupt) frozen realm of strategic sweeping.

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What’s caught your fancy lately, dear reader? Share your thoughts below. -J