The 2024 Melbourne Ramen Draft
On alkaline alchemy & collagen chemistry
Recently, I’ve found myself disenfranchised with the homogeny of Melbourne’s restaurant menus. I wrote about it here, but I think a greater examination needs to be entered into as to why, at a time when cost of living is soaring and restaurants are finding it harder than ever to fill seats and turn profits, do chefs and owners insist on prohibitively priced sharing menus. There is something to be said for complete, satisfying meals, and with the gradual shift from Melbourne’s oppressive March into a cooler April, it’s time to start talking about one of my favourite complete cold weather meals. That’s right: as the great Hugh Fearnely-Whittingstall would say: “Autumn, and the mind turns to ramen”.
Across three trips to Japan and various failed stints at Victorian educational institutions, I’ve learnt to navigate my way around a bowl of ramen like few others. I’m a voracious, appreciative slurper, and have a deep, abiding affection for the alluring alchemy of alkaline noodles. Very few things in life bring me as much pleasure as the opaque orange gel of a properly cured tamago, melding with a broth to coat a springy, fresh noodle. I’ve dined on famous Tokyo station tsukemen, refreshing Hiroshima chilled sesame broths, and slurped at the altar of Ivan Orkin’s New York City temple.
But what are the local ladellers dishing up? Today, we’re taking a slightly different approach to the standard “best of” list, and holding the first ever Melbourne Ramen Draft. Which of Melbourne’s ramen restaurants would you choose first in a fantasy football-style draft? Who goes first? Who misses the cut? Read on.
Pick 1: Ippudo
Accuse me of being a ramen normie if you like. I’ll suffer your slings and arrows gladly, if it means I am with my beloved Ippudo. Is Ippudo a gigantic international chain? Yes, it is. Cynics will say an enterprise as large as Ippudo can’t achieve the same intimate, immediate customer relationships of a small, produce driven ramen shop. To this I say: you simply do not get the purely cerebral, all encompassing full body-reaction inducing savouriness that Ippudo’s tonkotsu broth offers via any other channel than millions of customers worth of market research. My love for Ippudo has been honed over many years, across three continents, and countless servings of spicy chilled sesame cucumber salad.
Best for: value, consistency (the regularity kind) and consistency (the viscosity kind).
Pick 2: Hakata Gensuke
Across Hakata Gensuke’s many and varied locations, the same moisture-sucking, profound saltiness pervades the brand’s signature pork broth, offset only by the lip-fattening goodness of the collagen also present. There is one outlier however, and Hakata’s CBD chicken ramen only venue is the one I’m drafting here. If ailing from over imbibement or feeling poorly with a sniffle, I can prescribe nothing more restorative than Hakata’s hellfire chicken broth, a sort of Jewish penicillin for those with a high pain tolerance.
A little bonus easter egg for ardent Hakata Gensuke acolytes; each of their outlets serves a slightly different preparation of karaage fried chicken.
Best for: karaage and the medicinal, cleansing heat of spicy ramen.
Pick 3: Shop Ramen
Now with a second location in Preston (and a third in Brunswick on the way), the original Shop Ramen is my go-to for locally owned, down tempo slurping. A mainstay of the Smith Street scene, Shop’s neon sign shines brightly as a beacon to many a disheveled hipster in search of sustenance. A Tan Tan Men with beef brisket, kimchi and melted cheese blurs the lines between ramen and Korean army stew, a reminder that the concept “ramen” is fluid and evolving, and that time, like Shop’s bowls of hand rolled noodles, is a flat circle.
Best for: a Smith Street session respite.
Pick 4: Mr Ramen San
Mr Ramen San captures the unassuming, dimly lit energy of the thousands of ramen restaurants you will encounter in Japan. It feels authentically hospitable, with classic combinations and an emphasis on meat free options, in an unpretentious setting. A chilled yuzu ramen offers an incredible hot-day-in-the-city respite, and a signature seafood broth, dancing with bobbing clam buoys and fishcake, offers non-pork people a pleasing alternative. Plus, eggs come as standard!
Best for: cosplaying a Tokyo escape at Mid-City Centre.
Pick 5: Sara Craft Ramen & Bar
Sara Craft Ramen & Bar is a bit misleading. For one, despite its name, dense drinks menu and shelves of sake, it doesn’t presently serve alcohol. Not sure what happened there. With a premium beverage offering no longer available, Sara’s plush, modern fit out and expensive ramen ($22 for an entry level shoyu, up to $45 for wagyu ramen, eggs $3.50 extra) feels a little overblown, bur pleasant service and delicious ramen goes some way to bridging the void. On my most recent visit, a delicious tsukemen special came with an excellent egg, braised greens, and Sara’s signature wavy noodles, which they claim to age for two weeks. While I’m dubious as to how factual (or necessary) that is, a delightfully gloopy, violently reduced pork broth full of chunky chopped chashu pork erases all cynicism.
Best for: a luxurious treat in a comfortable setting.
Thank you as always for reading the Bureau of Eating & Drinking newsletter. If you have a Melbourne (or anywhere, really) hospitality story you’d like to share, reach out in the comments of find me on Instagram here.